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words cant say what love can do..


Life in All its Lights! turned 2 today! I haven’t posted anything in a very long time, but I take this time to reflect on how much personal growth I have undergone. I started the blog to remind myself to stay positive and happy, and I abandoned it with the same idea; you can not pursue happiness you just have to live it. 

About a year ago I woke up for work with a dark hole in my heart; I had a feeling of emptiness. It was a feeling I had not gotten in a very long time. That morning, I prayed. Although I was a believer in God back then I wasn’t a big prayer, but I prayed to God asking for my feelings of sadness, hatred, unforgiveness and guilt to subside. I walked to work and I prayed. I was at a point were I was just sick of feeling depressed and sad. Although I didn’t feel sad and depressed everyday, I wanted a different lens to life, a lens that was more stable and that did not have the ups and downs that took me on emotional roller coasters.

That same day that I prayed I went to have lunch and I sat next to a man who had ordered the vegetarian dish, I smiled at him because I was debating whether to have gotten the vegetarian this time. We started a conversation, which ended up being a philosophical debate on life, God, religion and happiness of course. I pretended that my friend was having some emotional troubles, when it was really me and I asked him what he would do. He had explored many religions and had converted to Buddhism. As a buddhist, he suggested my friend meditate; he said it would burn her old karma. 

So I went home and did just that, I meditated. I put a video from youtube on, I had no expectations but I just followed what the guru told me to do. I continued to do this daily for a month and it changed me; slowly but surely. For example, the habits of frustration that I had been programmed to give into subsided; things that would have frustrated me before stopped frustrating me. The funny thing was that I could still remember my mind wanting to react with frustration, but that feelings of frustration were not there. The frustration began to look like a false script that had been ingrained in my mind but which my heart didn’t even believe in. 

A year later, and many meditations after, I am at a place of growth, love and balance. Meditation has helped to change my life for the better. I hope you will try it too.




I don’t know why, but to me there’s something about the concept of living in a van, waking up every single day in a new city and not knowing where you are. Not knowing what time it ever is. It just appeals to me, like crazy. I can’t find the words to exactly describe it, but I just love the idea of that. I don’t know. I want this to be my life one day.

This has been another pointless post.




For the Dogs of war.



Knowing things have changed can be the easiest or the hardest thing for you to accept.

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.
I usually don't think twice. Just do it.
I have a deep soul and a loud mouth.
I'm honest, brutally, it's how it needs to be.
I'm ready to start my life.
I have lived through it all and I have learned.
I have friends that I can rely on for anything. And I need that.
I hate facing a new day but am always more than grateful.
I love and I love truely.
I'm me. imperfections, scars, stumbles and falls, take me or leave me.

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